SURPRISE

Gule: This is a place far away from everyone and everything. The land of the Predator Sheep, the land of no opportunities, the land of the fairies. The land where everything that can't happen any other places happens! Gule is the most awesome place on earth (if it in fact is on earth). Not many people has ever heard about this magical place, but people do live there. My father lives there, one of my best friends live there and his girlfriend lives there. This is a true story about events that has happened on Gule.

A couple of weeks ago, I was coming home from work early. Very early in fact. I also got some days off. I think this was on a Wednesday, might have been a Thursday too, fuzzy memory. Anyway, I got a phone call from another good friend of mine. The time was around 7pm. He asked me if I wanted to come to Gule and get drunk. I hesitated 'cause I didn't have too much money at the time. Irini was in London with her mother, so I was kind of alone and bored (I hope my PS3 doesn't read this). Then my good friend (Anders) reminded me that I had lots of alcohol lying around at home, so I figured: “What the hell, why not?”.

I packed one of these bags you can buy so that you don't throw away/burn plastic bags. I got in my car and called a friend of mine I was supposed to meet and told him plan was changed. Then I called this other friend of mine (who's a girl) and asked if she wanted to join me. My phone was fucked though, so I didn't get any information from her. I figured I could just stop by her house on the way, so I did, and I forced her to join me to Gule.

When we got there, the house was empty. We just walked straight in, filled up the refrigerator and began our quest to get drunk. I've actually written this in another post so I'll just skip ahead.

I was out talking to Ida (my friends girlfriend) about some stuff and she asked if I wanted to help her set up a surprise party for Magnus (her boyfriend, but my boy lover (she doesn't know)). It sounded fun and I was drunk so I probably agreed. We spent some time thinking about who to invite, what to do and where to do it. Finally the plan was made.

I went to Gule this Friday to visit my father. He looked like he was doing good considering his condition. I brought some people with me (Irini and Vegard (my girlfriend and another good friend of mine)) too. We met up with Ida and some other people who was helping out and started decorating the locale we had rented for the weekend. We also met up with some friends of Magnus and planed how to kidnap him and bring him to his own party (of course, we couldn't do this without pizza, so we met them at a place that sells pizza).

Saturday came, and one of my drivers got sick unfortunately. So, I had to get in my car, meet up with the other driver an hour away from the party and pick up people, this went well, pulled some e-brakes and drove on some red lights, no biggie. And got the people to the party two hours before Magnus was supposed to arrive. Ida was at his place keeping him busy (I wonder how).

The time came when I was to go on stage and tell people the rules. This went well in my opinion, I like being the centre of attention, and I think I did a good job (of course, nobody will agree, but fuck you).

We got at text message that they where bringing him in in 30 seconds, so we had to be quick and line up. Everyone was quiet. Not a sound was made. Ida struggled like hell to get his blindfold off. Finally we could all yell “SURPRISE” and see the tears in his eyes (damn, I'm going for poetry here). He wasn't too happy to begin with, but after a few beers and a little liquor he was doing fine! We had a most awesome night, and I can't wait to get a hold of the pictures. We had girl on girl action, we had male strippers (I was one of them, I actually started it), we had drinking games and we had music! It turned out to be one of the most awesome nights ever. Ida and Magnus even had this moment where they were all alone on the dance floor, easy music and lights all over them. Damn, that moment even turned me gay for 5 minutes.

The very best part was that Magnus had NO IDEA WHATSOEVER about what was going on.

I'll update with pictures as soon as I get a hold of them, I promise. If you think I'm slow – blame Ida. (I apologize for not using pictures here, but I can't be arsed to paint anything myself).

Pokemon, and what not.

My plan the last couple of weeks or so has been to play through Pokemon Red version, and then write a review with lots of pictures and post it here. I mean, Pokemon is being looked down on by the society, but why? It's a great fucking game, it has many ties to RPG's, since you level up, get new skills, change out your party and so on. You have so many possibilities that it's scary. And what the hell is not awesome about small fantasy creatures that you could cuddle with if they existed, or big fucking flame throwing dragons, or GIANT rock worms that could crush your puny little house in three seconds – please, tell me: WHAT THE HELL IS NOT AWESOME ABOUT THAT? Faggot.

Who didn't love this moment?

Anyway, my point was supposed to be: I'm not going to write a review about Pokemon. At least not yet. They are awesome games though, and the series are good too. Only thing missing is a real film, with real people and a game like the ones on game boy, only for the next-gen console. Jesus, I would get a hard-on for that.

Change out the gun with a pokeball and the enemies with pokemons - how awesome would that be?

I put Pokemon on hold though. I found an amazing PSX/PSone emulator. I also got a hold of Final Fantasy IX. I mean it, I've missed this game so fucking much. It is pure awesomeness. I may write a review if I complete it, but don't get your hopes up.

The Final Fantasy IX cover.


From a cutscene in Final Fantasy IX.

Who am I kidding, what the hell else can I write about? There's nothing exciting going on with my life, I work, I play and I fuck. There you have it, my day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year and so on.

Have a nice day fuck-o! (got the word “fuck-o” from Army of Two, hell I laughed in that cut scene).

Fizzbin (copied and pasted)

I found this on the internet today, and it's an ingenious idea, spread the word, maybe we actually can make it come true?

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This is a short post, but I think it's important. Let's make it a movement. Digg it, leave a comment, Reddit it. Start using it.

We need a word that says "I know tech" when you're on the phone with tech support, you'd just say "Fizzbin" and they'd know.

I hate that 5 minute to 5 hour long "ramp up" when I'm on the phone with any kind of technical support as they realize that we both know what we're doing. Or at least, one of us does.

"So, click the start menu...type C M D and press enter. Tell what you see?"

I propose that "Fizzbin" skips that first hour. I don't like feeling like it's an ego thing. I don't want to have to say, "Hey, I kind of know this stuff, can we kick it up a notch?" I don't like explaining that YES, I've checked the cable, and YES, I have tried resetting the modem.

I'd like my tech support experience to go like this:

"Hi, Internet Tech Support...what's your issue?"

"Fizzbin."

"You have an IP?"

"No. Your DHCP isn't passing out IPs. Am I banned?"

"Looks like your MAC is xxxx, you've been running a torrent?"

"Yes, I'll stop."

"Cool. You're un-banned. Fizzbin."

"Sweet. Catch you later."

Fizzbin. It's like pressing "0" at the automated teller prompt, but for geeks.

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This idea is brilliant, spread the word people.

Hernia and what not.

This weekend was a fun one. It started out with me visiting my doctor on Friday. Turns out, I need surgery. I have hernia. I won't go into detail about it, so if you want to know more you're going to have to google it. It's not dangerous, it's just unpleasant. I don't know when the surgery is yet, but it's not too far into the future. I'm not looking forward to it in any way, since it's my first surgery and all. Luckily it's not a big one. From what I've heard it takes 20-40 minutes. I won't get to sleep though, I only get spinal anasthetization (I have no idea if this is correct, but that's what the translation site gave me), so I will be awake during the whole thing.

A fairly good illustration of hernia.

Enough about that though. I had some friends over in the evening, we played some Soul Calibur 4 and drank a few beers, no biggie. Saturday Vegard came to visit, we bought beer (a lot this time) and had a really fun night! Up to ten people in one of the smallest apartments.

Soul Calibur 4.

Sunday was just chilling. Played Soul Calibur 4, unlocked all characters and played it until I got sick of it, changed to beat the last boss in Blue Dragon, but figured out I saved in the middle of some random maze, so fuck that. Me and Irini watched the newest episode of Two and a half men. Then we watched The Dark Knight. Which was actually a good film.

The Dark Knight poster.

That's it for today, kind of tired and stuff.

Edit: Oh, I forgot to mention, me and Irini played some LEGO Indiana Jones co-op. I have to admit, it was rather fun. Even though I don't like LEGO games.

Sexbet

I don't know if anyone of you have seen "How I met your mother". I'll just tell you this, it's a comedy show on tv.

The guys in "How I met your mother". The guys standin on the sides are the ones that have slapbets.

In this show, two of the main characters have a "slapbet", this means that they bet on stuff, and whoever wins, gets to slap the loser one time anytime he wants to, and the loser can't say anything. It can be public so that everyone can see it, it can be while he sleeps, it can be while he's concentrating real hard on something, it can be anytime. Random.

Well, me and Irini was bored one day, so we decided to start "sexbets". We bet on stuff, and the winner gets to have sex with the loser, anytime he/she wants to. BUT. Because we don't want it to be boring, we have rules. It cannot happen in the bed, and it's prefered it's not happening in our apartment. It can't be public either though. And by public I mean in the middle of the streets. If it's in a backyard at 5am then it should be fine (already done this two times).

The best part is, when the person wants to use the "sexbet-win" the other one CAN'T say no!

Just posted this here to give everyone the idea - and let me tell you: It's funny as hell!

I stole a challenge.

I'm bored, so I'm taking this challenge:

☆ Post a blog entry where you write 6 positive things about yourself!
☆ Add a picture of yourself that you like.
☆ Send the challenge on to 6 others.

Let's go!

Six positive things about myself:

• I'm awesome
• I'm awesome
• I'm awesome
• I'm awesome
• I'm awesome
• I'm FUCKING awesome!

This is all the pictures I have of myself:

This is the picture I used to send an application to some norwegian reality show called "The Farm" (Farmen). I was drunk.


This is how I looked when I was a kid. Pretty awesome, right?


This is how I look when I test beer (lots of beer) for the greater good of mankind. Still awesome.

Fuck me, I failed the challenge, I ain't gonna send it to other people. They can drag their asses in here and see how awesome I am and then steal the damn challenge!

Damn, that challenge was hard. Well, it's over now, and I'm still awesome!

Nostalgia for the win!

Oh, fuck me from every possible angle, god! I've just had the most awesome nostalgia trip EVER! And I am willing to share it with you. Here's a list and pictures of some of my favourite games as a child! This is just a few.

Lomax, one of the greatest games ever, I remember spending ALOT of time on this one!


I don't really remember too much from this, I just remember it was AWESOME!


My first rental game ever.


All I remember is boob flashing if you gave the bitches money! Perfect.


Oh God, I just came.

Jesus, I fucking came again.


Ok, now there's seriously cum everywhere.


My first copied game, and it ROCKED!


If I got the honor to pick the best racing game ever, this would be it!


I bought this for my sister, but after trying it, I kept it for myself. Childish, I know, but fuck you!


This game beats Mario Kart and other toon racers down in the boots, pisses on them, takes a crap and puts out cigarettes on them!


Took me some time to actually like this game, even more to complete it. Now, I love it!


Oh, the fun I had with this one, day in and day out.


This game was cool. Bubble guns equals aweseomeness (or at least it did when this game came).

This game screams awesome! Tricking on a sled, with Rob Zombie in the background - the man who made this game should have a medal.


Can a game get more random, but still be really fun? I doubt it.


Oh, come on, this was easily the best in the series! I think I played the demo for a year or something until i finally got a hold of the real game! That means something.

Seriously, if you read/watched this, and you didn't cry, get an orgasm, a hard-on or at least wanted to play some of these games over again, then you, my friend, are a faggot.

- Pingu

This one's for you, Pinng!

This article is for Pinng. But feel free to read it even if that is not your name.


Type your name if it's not Pinng!


Getting an article written for you as one person, that is a big thing in my blog. To get me to write something because of YOU, that my friend, is not easy (unless you pay me). There are however ways to make this happen.


1. You have pissed me off, really bad (possibly by showing me your face).

2. You have impressed me with anything (Barely possible since I've seen it all).

3.You have done something retarded (like for instance: lived).

4. I just don't like you (skip this one, I don't like many people, which means I'd have to write about everyone).

5. I like you (one person in the whole wide world fits this one).


For the record, number 5 is impossible if your name is not Irini and you are not my girlfriend.


The reason I am contributing this article to Pinng, is that he showed a particular interest in my “quest to complete all my games for the PS3”. This is a goal I have given myself, and it's about the retail games, not the ones downloaded from Playstation Network. I started this quest a while back, and to be honest, I haven't focused on it at all. I have completed two games of the ones I've had for a while and not completed. Viking: Battle for Asgard and Folklore. Both games are good games, I just haven't had the time to complete them since new games come out all the fucking time.

The two games I've completed since I started this quest.

Anyway, since I'm GREAT at buying new games, focusing on nostalgia trips and drinking beer, this quest is very hard for me. But, I won't give up. I have 5-6 games that I haven't completed yet, and hundreds on my wish list. And of course, some games are longer than others, some games are more fun than others, I've even played some of my games 5-6 times from start to end without even thinking about the games I have yet to complete.


Most of the people I know will think this article is boring. Fuck you. Most of the people I know don't even read this blog. Fuck you even more. And for those who actually read and comment, I suppose I like you, in some sort of retarded way. Don't get any hopes though, you are still far from number 5!


Some old hot chick saying "fuck you" to you! In Spanish!


Anyway, I also got questions about the reward for this quest. Since I am the one who came up with this quest, the logical rewards from myself to myself would be a good luxury masturbation while watching a good pornographic film with no anal. I really don't like anal. The most important thing is that there are lots of girls. Brunettes preferred, then redheads and then blondes. All shaved 100%. And... damn, I got carried away. Anyway, the reward is no such thing. The reward is pure and simple: nothing. I won't get anything from completing this quest. I will just have wasted lots of time on games that could've been better, on games that I don't really will feel like playing.


Nothing cost this guy 50 bucks, it will cose me a shitload of time!


So, the question everyone (or no one) is asking themselves: “Then why the hell is he doing this? Is he fucking retarded or something?”. First of all, I am not retarded, you are. I do this because I want to, because I don't like to give up (“I WON'T GIVE UP!”), because I don't like being half-done with stuff.


I hope this satisfied Pinng's mind. I am sorry if it didn't but then you could always watch some porn, with lots of girls, and sex, and no anal and... crap, it happened again.


Now, this is a SOCCER team!


- Pingu

Quest

I apologize for not blogging lately. I've been busy with my father. He had a heart attack (damn, that sounds nasty in English) and has been at the hospital the last week. So have I. He's back now, he's feeling good and there were no problems.

Irini is back from London, she bought BioShock and Sonic Unleashed there, so I've been playing a lot lately. I also started on FarCry 2 (finally) and it's actually kind of awesome.

My quest for completing all games I have for the PS3 has really started now.

An illustration of me on a quest to complete all games!

I completed Folklore the other day, and I recommend it to everyone that have it: Complete the game, the gameplay might not be awesome, but the story and the surroundings are breathtaking. I won't say more, but you will regret it if you don't listen to me.

Anyway, have a nice day dipshits!

I cried and I came.

I had my first crying moment in a while now. I was surfing around the internet when I came across a site with PSX (the original Playstation) games, and pictures of their covers, and oh my fucking god. It was a really awkward moment. I wont write more, just look at this and cry in joy with me!

One of the pictures I found which almost made me cry.